Wow. It's been two weeks since my run. I meant to write this entry much sooner but there was so much so much to process. I want to record it all so the beauty stays in my memeory as long as possible.
some moments to note:
Mark, Jude, and Caitlin all arrived late Saturday night and we quickly absorbed ourselves in packing, food preparations, sorting gear, and sharing tips and stories. It was around midnight by the time we got to bed which made for a very rude 3 am wake up alarm. Star (Alistair) arrived around 3:15 and we were all on the road by 3:45. The first obstical to overcome was a tree in the middle of the road at Otter Point, just out of Sooke (I wish I had photos or video to back this up but you'll just have to imagine it). The tree took out some power lines and blocked the road. I had a moment of panic as I thought, "I planned for nearly everything, but I didn't plan for this!!" The problem was quickly solved however by one person standing at the edge of the grass along the road to point out the ditch while both Mark and Caitlin were able to drive over the tree and get us on our way again (thanks to a little 4 wheel drive and nerves of steel). We made it to the China Beach trail head without further incident.
China Beach to Sombrio Beach(29 km):
After a few photos and last minute preparations, Jude, Star and I headed out of China Beach about 5:45am with Mark and Caitlin wishing us well and planning to meet us at the first aid station anywhere from 6-8 hours later. The sky was already getting light at this point so we didn't need the headlamps I had packed. This leg definitly left me feeling a little isolated out on the trail as we seemed to be the only ones awake and moving about this early, but I didn't feel as much fear as I had expected. Jude kept me distracted enough from any negative worry and for the most part the three of us laughed, talked, sang, and made jokes for hours. I did not feel too many 'lows'.
Near the end of this section I began to suffer quite a bit of knee pain. This was not totally unexpected, as I had been seeing a physiotherapist for swelling in my knees (after long training runs) and I knew my knees were likley the weakest physical link in my body. I also knew this trail could be knee destroying even for someone without knee problems. The pain did start to damage my spirits and energy however, and I started to feel pretty broken and frustrated with myself.
A couple kilometers before Sombrio Beach I heard a loon call. This was a funny moment because it made me realize how drained I actually was. This was my Father's special call he would make if my brother and I ever got separated form him in the forest for some reason. Jude and Star looked around and asked "what was that" but I nearly jumped up and down. "That's my dad!" I streaked as if I was 5 years old. "That's my DAD!". It was such a funny over reaction for the moment but that's how I felt: so much excitement and relief to see him.
Heading into Sombrio was emotional too and I'm not sure why. we came around the corner and saw Mark's aid station camp complete with a tarp and stove (nearly 8 hours after we'd started that morning). The rest of my friends and support crew were standing on the beach and they began cheering for me. I burst into tears and panicked. I think I didn't want them to see me struggle and hurt and I felt that I didn't deserve the applause for my performance. "Jude, I can't go there!" I cried. "Yes, you can", she assured me. "They are all here because they love you. That is a safe place". And of course she was right.
The first aid station was wonderful! Food...Caitlin tapped my painful knees...made soup...talked to everyone....shared stories and gained their energy. We took a longer break than anticipated (about an hour) but it was well needed. I left the aid station feeling much more confident and energized than when I had come in.
Sombrio Beach to Parkinson Creek (8km)
Star, Jude and I continued along the trail with our new runner, Saskia. We seemed to split into two groups for most of this section: Saskia and Star, and Jude and I. We never got too far apart though. While Saskia and Star seemed to have endless energy, I was still struggling. My body felt like it was breaking down at times and Jude was dealing with a previous hip injury....but we struggled together, talking non stop. We had a really interesting conversation about ego as we ran. I have always wanted to prove to people that I am an athlete but I was feeling so much knee pain and disappointment in my performance that I was really doubting myself. But who was I really trying to prove this to? These questions and feelings sent me on a bit of an emotional roller coaster.
The second aid station provided the same relief as the first. joy. warm food. comfort. the potatoes we had boiled the night before were perfect fuel, once I covered them with salt! I also ate pringle chips and candy. lots of calories. It doesn't have to be healthy at this point, just fuel. burn it off. I relied on my Jude a lot for my fuel and hydration timing. I used what I knew worked for my body (that's what training runs are for!) but I ate when she told me to and drank when she said it was time. I saw my brother at the aid station too which gave me more strength. We had a 15-20 minute break....long enough for Caitlin to re-tape my knees...off again.
Parkinson Creek to Botanical Beach (10km)
....last leg.
The Rabbitt joined us for this section and no one opted out which made us a team of five runners. Rabbitt stayed close to Jude and I while Saskia and Star ran ahead a little bit. Rabbitt was so strong and fresh and Jude and I had begun to fade. It was a tough section. Slow going. So much mud. Much of the trail is not really 'runable': huge mud pits, logs, roots, more knee pain. I looked at my arms a lot where I had written 'Dianne' at my mother's request (to carry my aunt with me) and 'Worth It' to remind me that no matter how much I went through completing this goal was going to be just that: worth it. At the last aid station Caitlin also wrote 'MOVE' on my other arm. There is so much meaning in that word for me now and I knew all the MOVEment members were also supporting this challenge regardless of where they were.
During the last couple of kilometers we all gained energy. Mostly power hiking but at a good speed for being so tired. After Botanical beach we started running up the road to the finish. We were all singing crazy songs and laughing. Colin joined us then and we all ran to the finish together. When I saw Mark, Caitlin, and Dan I ran hard. I ran straight into Dan, grabbed onto him and started sobbing. There were so many emotions. joy and major relief.
At last I calmed down. Sat in a chair. We all ate more food. Caitlin iced us and massaged us. Dan took off my shoes for me. We had completed the challenge in just under 16 hours. I was thrilled! Without sounding too corny, there seemed to be so much love between everyone...we had all gained something from this experience. I choose my team very well. Each one was specifically chosen for a skill I knew they could offer me: medical attention, navigation, emergency rescue, emotional support....
and it is a HUGE credit to them that this event went so smoothly.
Lessons Learned:
hard to say....I am actually still discovering them...
1. The ability to set and achieve a goal.
2. My own strength.
3. To believe in myself more. Everyone else believes in me (Jude said she believed in me 300%, which made me laugh) but I needed to believe in myself.
4. The power of community. This was huge. I am still blown away that everyone made sacrifices to help me achieve a goal. I learned how to ask for help and I am learning that is a different kind of leadership. It's not the 'I can do everything' kind....it's the 'let's see what we can accomplish together' kind. And I am learning this is much more powerful.
What is next?
Will this be a yearly trip? I could certainly see that happening. More people will want to try this now that they have seen me do it, I think. And I still want to complete the run with my brother, of course. There is an album of photos on the MOVEmentX100 facebook page and we hope to have a video made for you soon.
I am so glad I took the chance on myself....to see if I was strong enough! This is just sinking in now, as I write this. How disappointing if I never tried, if I was too scared to attempt it. How amazing that I had the courage to try.
More amazing that success or failure is that I had the courage to try...to start running in the first place with no idea what would come next.
and it was WORTH IT.
