what is holding me back?

16.11.10


what is holding me back?

i have never truly achieved the fitness level i have wanted to achieve. i have not yet seen my goals through. why don't i push myself harder? what is holding me back?

sometimes we get stuck in other people's perception of ourselves. we act a certain way because that is how we believe other people see us and how we believe others want us to act.

sometimes we also get stuck in our own perceptions of ourselves. we cease to move forward because we become rooted to the only 'us' we have ever known, the one who is still trying to achieve their goals. still trying is great but that's exactly all it is.


still trying.


i want to be more than that. i want to be the one who actually achieves her goals and accomplishes her dreams. then i want to dream bigger and do it all again. i want to be fearless and realize that i can not fail. i can only learn and achieve more than i ever thought i could. instead of thinking of myself as the person i once was, i need to think of myself as the person i desire to become, because somewhere deep inside, she already exists. i just have to bring her out a little more.

i want to train harder for my race in two weeks. not just 'i need to' but 'i want to'. i want to because it is who i want to be and what i want to achieve.

what else do i want to achieve....

• have a garden.
• write a novel.
• sell my paintings.
• publish a book of poetry.
• roll my kayak.
• live in tofino for a year.
• own a house.
• have a family.
• graduate university with my recreation and health education degree.
• compete in more trail races.
• create my own personal training company.
• be a source of positive energy.
• teach a yoga class.
• laugh more.

what do you want to do?

and what is holding you back?